The Best Kind of Tired

Man, am I tired.

We just finished the Wednesday evening Bible study in the church. This is after saying goodbye this afternoon to the 40 guys who attended the Jinja pastor's conference for the past three days. Up at 4:00 everyday to be sure everything is ready for that day. Into bed by 11:30 every night after making sure everyone is safe and secure. Long days. But I find them so rewarding and the fellowship so sweet that I could hope that the guys don't go home.

Monday we got off to that slow start but then God began to work! The men came ready to share and the discussion times were the best we have ever had. They teach me so much and all the while they think we are teaching them. I truly hate to see them return home.

Guys like Michael who came after missing the last two conferences while trying to get married. The joy on his face when he speaks of his wife just filled me with joy.

Jeremiah telling us the news that his wife Victoria is expecting. We had a long time of prayer at the last meeting for this because they had just been told that she wouldn't be able to have kids. But God is in control so we rejoiced!

The warmth God put in my heart when Doug, Isaac and I laid hands on Aaron ordaining him as a pastor. It was like having a son receive the highest award there is from God and the Lord lets us present it. This happened after Aaron taught about enduring hardship.

Joshua praising God for what the Lord had provided for himself and his family.

All my brothers from Fort Portal who poured out of their vehicles, after a five to seven hour ride, with grins and smiles excited to see all of us again.

Nehemiah and Christian from Kampala who added so much to our discussion. Afterwards I asked Christian to ask how I was. He wanted to know why? "So I could answer at least one of your questions without having to have a theology dergree." Those guys wanted to KNOW!

But why am I tired?
I am tired of not giving my wife enough credit for her work at these conferences and in my life. Bev is tireless, bold and full of love. She treats these men like sons and they truly call her "Mom". She is awesome and I want the world to know how special she is.

I'm tired of not spending enough time praying for the men and their ministries.

I'm tired of letting a few men who did wrong in the past ruin my love, admiration, and respect for these good men. These guys are really showing a pastor's heart in knowing God and bringing others to know Him.

I'm tired of keeping Jesus only in my heart when His name should be on my lips and involved in every conversation and thought.

I'm tired of doing things my way, which is at best somehow scriptural. I want to do things the hard way, the foolish way and the impossible way. I want to do things God's way.

By the next time these brothers gather here, I want to be more like Jesus. I've reached the point that I don't know if I can teach them more. But if I trust Jesus more maybe they will see Him better.