The Great Jinja July 4th Bake Off

The time was just past noon when the competition began.

As I had decided to make a cake for Julie, whose birthday is the 4th of July, I began gathering the necessary ingredients. The recipe looked simple enough. I could do this in my sleep, or so I thought. Flour, sugar, eggs, shortening, vanilla, cocoa powder, and baking powder. Is that the same as baking soda or are they different? Bev let out a groan and said "No, the powder is upper shelf that's soda in your hand." I mumbled something akin to "Thanks" but my mind was already going back to my daughter's 19th birtday. That was the last time I had made a cake from scratch. The mind still recoils at the memory of the mess I made. Did you know that two tablespoons of baking powder go a lot farther than the two teaspoons the recipe called for. Did you also know that overly agitated German choclate cake batter was used by Atilla the hun as armor? At least I'm sure it could have been after trying to scrape it off the oven walls and bottom. But hey, that was 18 years ago surely oven cleaning techniques have improved, I hoped.

Pressing onward I began to make the batter. Looked pretty good and as I began to add the baking powder low & behold the recipe had changed to baking soda. Someone ought to tell these cookbook publishers that they need to issue better updates rather than just changing ingredients when the baker is not looking. But clever fellow that I am I caught the problem in time and made the switch.

As I was just putting the pans in the oven Kelli came in the kitchen. Eyeing her suspiciously I asked "Whas up?" Her response was "Oh, I'm making cookies to take to the Davises."

You must understand that Kelli, Bev and I have a contest to see who is the least coordinated. Last night Kelli and I fought to a 3-3 draw on dings in the walls moving furniture. Kelli being in the kitchen at the same time as me was a definite threat to cleanliness and well being of the compound as well as to my title of King Klutz. Feeling the pressure to drop the cake pans for an easy win I forced them into the oven checked my watch and set off to read for 30-35 minutes or until my toothpick was dry.

About 20 minutes later Kelli asked," Uh, Jess, did you want the oven off or on?"

"I turned it on ," I said. "But it's not hot." Man, it's those little things that get you!

Turning it on I decide it was time to make the frosting. As Kelli had cookie dough in the mixmaster I chose to use a whip for my topping.

What snow in Jinja in June? No, it is icing sugar! Apparently you have to start real slow with the whip. But I soon had the technique mastered and before long the cakes were done and ready to frost. I'd estimate that 90% of the icing was used to fill the two craters that were my fallen cakes. But in the end they looked nice. And I knew it was envy that caused Kelli to suggest I use on of her cookies to fill in the flat spot in the side of the cake. I assured her it was a planned design so that the christmas tree... I mean cake could sit closer to the wall. (yeah like you never use that excuse)

Clean up took roughly 1 and 1/2 hours. But it was an opportunity to be a man of integrity. Under my cookbook I found Kelli's top secret chocolate chip cookie recipe. As it is widely known that this receipe makes the best cookies in the world I was holding a goldmine in my hand. Look out "Famous Amos", "Jess the Mess" is in town! Then I thought what would happen to her when the Wee Little People (not the Keebler Elves or the Irish mafia) came calling. All the kids on the compound would be heartbroken. No free cookies! So I gave the receipe back. I cleaned the kitchen with a greater enthusiam knowing I had done the right thing. Who cares about baking anyway. As Bev says,"You may not cook but you wash the best dishes in town!" "Don't leave spots on the spoons."